Friends, to be frank, this season has felt like a tight place for our family. While we have seen many blessings and experienced the faithfulness and provision of our good God, it has also been a time of pressure and increased stress.
In my times with the Lord, He has been asking me many probing questions. It has been a time of self evaluation and cleansing. I haven't liked many of the things that have come out of me as I have been squeezed while home educating our 5 children and navigating having everyone around each other constantly. I have been short, cross, irritable, and discouraged at times.
I haven't been posting much during this season partially due to the time consuming additions to my plate, but I also because I feel this is a time for self reflection and evaluation of what is in my heart. I have taken a period of time for inventory, repentance, and confession.
For those who would like to read on, I invite you into the pages of my journal and into the questions that Jesus has been asking me to actively consider.
"In My presence is FULLNESS of joy. In My hand are pleasures evermore. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Where is your treasure? Is what you are treasuring temporal or eternal?
Whom are you seeking accolades from? From the One who sees all or those who see in part? What are you hiding? What do you seek? Are you seeking My face or My hand for your own selfish motives? Where is your heart orientation? Who and what are you turning to when life gets hard?
What is your crutch? I am removing the crutches to show you your heart and what you have been leaning on. Remember, I am dealing with foundations and issues of the heart.
What are you clinging to? What is important to you? What comes out of you when you are squeezed? What are you filled with? How are you filled?
Child, to see clear, you must see what is in your heart first. What drives and motivates you? What is your aim? Are you beating the air or is your purpose fixed?
The joy of the Lord is your strength. Where are you finding strength in this time? What are you relying on?"
May we come out of this season purged, cleansed, refined, tenderhearted, and ready for action. Be encouraged that the work God began in your life He will be sure to bring it to completion. This positioning into a tight place where we have been squeezed in so many areas is simply the beautiful way that God is sanctifying us, pruning us, and preparing us for the abundant life and purposes He has for our future.
Father laid a scripture on my heart today. I have pulled parts of this paraphrased version from several translations as they deeply resonated with me as being on Father's heart for us to put into practice as we slowly come out of this quarantine.
"So I run with purpose in every step. I'm giving it everything I've got. I do not flail around like one beating the air. No sloppy living for me! I'm staying alert and in top condition. I subdue my body and get it under my control. I'm not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself." - 1 Corinthians 9:26-27
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